Wednesday, March 6, 2013

I was a pretend Gramma!

Miss Angela is taking a parenting class at school.   First toward the end of January, I get this picture texted to me.  The high school has these things called "Empathy Bellies".  They are heavy, give you big boobs, and are lumpy so you can feel how uncomfortable it can be to be pregnant.  Even the boys got to wear these around, which I'm sure was pretty hilarious!.  Here, Angel & her partner in crime Brittney, are posing with their bellies.  

I have no idea whose shirt she is wearing.  This child does not own anything this subdued!

So of course, the next step is the baby.  She brought it home last Friday and took it back happily Monday morning.  These are some flippin' high-tech dolls!  They are programmed with the habits of 15 different newborns and can start to cry at any time of the day or night.  Like a real baby does.  The "parent" aka Angel, wore a wristband that the baby had to sense before she could try to figure out what was wrong.  

She'd either have to feed it (could take 15 minutes or longer!), change it (there was sensor sewn into the back of the diaper), burp it or just snuggle with it.  And the longer it took you to figure out the problem, the louder it would get.  And Heaven forbid you don't support the head!  It would scream bloody murder!  But once it was happy, it would make this adorable coo so you knew that it was done eating or whatever. 

She would have to document everything, too.  What the issue was and how long it took to make baby happy.  Oh, and she had to answer a series of questions about being a parent before she even brought it home and there were more questions afterward.  I guess to see if her opinion changed. 

Look how real they look!
They weren't warm & squishy like a real baby, but they had the right size & heft.
Brittney's "Abigail" on the left & Angel's "Brooke Lexie Riley Jessica Taylor" or Blarght on the right.

They insisted on going to the mall with children in tow.  
It was a tight squeeze in my back seat!
Brittney & child spent the night at my house Friday and Angel & child went to hers on Saturday.  
Worked out nicely!

Her teacher turned it off while she was in dance Saturday from 1-4.
But I had to babysit during her 11-12 class.  I found myself rocking her without thinking.

I had volunteered to check one of the county's tornado sirens during Saturday's test at 1, so I left the studio at 12:35 with Blarght (or Sweet baby Jesus or whatever we decided to call her at that moment) Of course I wasn't even a mile away from the studio when she started to cry.  Do you think I could get that damn wristband to beep?  I had to pull over and take her out of the car seat and try to get that darn thing to register. She screamed for a good 5 minutes!  Finally it beeped and she took the bottle.  I buckled her back in (in the front seat, shame on me!) and held the bottle while I drove to the siren location. I just made sure not to get too close to any other cars!

Anyway, my car is a bit loud, so I never heard her coo when she was done, so I assumed she was when she didn't cry when I put the bottle down.  Then after the test, I moved her to the back seat where she should have been and she made the cutest little coo at me.  At first I had the reflex of "aaw!", but then I was was freaked out that she hadn't turned off yet!  But she did after that.  Whew!


After dance, I babysat while Angel got in the shower and Chester helped. 

I thought it was funny to walk into the kitchen and find Randy holding the baby 
while Angel was figuring out her new iPod docking station. 

Jack even had to check her out.

So I really hope the purpose of this whole exercise was to show kids that having babies isn't all fun & games.    I know Angel told me that there were times she wanted to throw it against the wall.  Which is understandable, but I thought she did pretty good.  She looked exasperated when I peeked in her room at 5 am Saturday and both babies were crying.  Once I turned the fish tank light on and the overhead light off, the babies seemed to settle down and were quiet for 5+ hours!  One or the other had been going off every half hour up until then.  

So while this served as a "keep-your-pants-on" reminder for the resident teenager, it made my biological clock tick a bit louder.  I miss the snuggles & warm baby smell & all that good stuff.  However, I don't miss the crying and stinky diapers & lack of freedom.  Anyway, while Randy & I didn't exactly ~try~ to have any spawn, we didn't prevent, either.  For over 4 years.  So apparently it wasn't meant to be.  And now, I'll be 40 this summer and I sure wouldn't want to start over now.  A huge age gap between kids and frankly, Angel's pretty low maintenance.  She gets home from school before me and is by herself for about an hour.  I can leave her a list of chores to do.  She can bathe & dress & & feed & entertain herself.   Yeah.  So I'll just have to stifle that little tang I feel in my chest once in a while.  I wish I knew someone who had a little one so I could get my fix, then give them back! 


  1. I remember doing this in high school! Not as easy as I thought it would be...

    Stopped over from the A-Z Challenge page-- Good luck!

    1. Thanks for stopping by! I was intrigued to hear about this - when I was in high school, they carried around eggs!


Leave a note - they make me feel loved!